


I'm not worthy of you

by LadySt0rm



Series: Worth (Spideypool) [4]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Angst and Feels, Deadpool 2 Spoilers, Deadpool Thought Boxes, Established Relationship, F/M, M/M, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Spanking, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-19
Updated: 2018-07-01
Packaged: 2019-05-25 12:49:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14977502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadySt0rm/pseuds/LadySt0rm
Summary: After an argument with Peter, Wade commits suicide. And gets relationship advice from a most unlikely source. Which he promptly tries his best to follow.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Vanessa died three years ago. Wade hooked up with Cable for a while after Deadpool 2, but it didn't last. He got together with Peter three months ago.
> 
> Spanking tag applies only to the Epilogue. Feel free to skip that or to skip to that, depending on your preferences:)

(Blow your brains out again, why don’t you? You’re nothing but a waste of space.)

**[Yeah, things were going fine. Then you had to go ruin it with your big, fat mouth.]**

Slumped in his armchair, Wade stared at the gun in his hand bitterly. Yellow and White were right this time. He had truly and seriously fucked up this time. Peter had been furious with him.

Well, what else was new?

Wade knew that he was a fuck-up from Day 1. Ever since Weapon X…maybe even before that. Would a stable, productive member of society have chosen to become a mercenary?

(Don’t spread your fuck-up to our dear little Petey-pie’s life then.)

**[You should just stay away from him. Voluntarily, before he dumps you. In fact, he’s probably going to dump you like a hot potato once he calms down enough to pick up a phone]**

(Got it in one, White. ‘Cos what kind of stupid will actually ‘fess up to being a blood-thirsty mercenary with a through-the-roof kill count in the presence of his boyfriend’s Aunt? When said Aunt is the sole living family member that Baby Boy has left?)

**[That makes how many meet-the-folks session he’s flunked now?]**

(…Only one actually. Because his ex-fiancée didn’t have any family left worth shit and none of his other _relationships_ ever got to that stage. Ha, could you imagine Cable bringing this guy to meet Cyclops? That’d have been a laugh. Maybe that could even be Entry #235 on how to kill ourselves. Entry #235: Burnt to a crisp by Cyclops’ laser beam eyes.)

**[We’re not counting Cable. Cable only fucked him in order to relieve his sexual frustrations. You’re pathetic. Tragic. Wretched creature. I could go on.]**

“I know _._ ” Wade did not even defend himself. He sat there, uncharacteristically quiet for a few minutes, listening to the disparaging comments from the voices in his head. He deserved it all after all. What was the voices in his head in comparison to what his Baby Boy had to be enduring right now? An intense interrogation from his Aunt, undoubtedly, about why he was shacking up with an immoral mercenary. Then right after that...would come the break-up.

(Only one thing to do now.)

**[Oooh, which method are we using? I liked #12. Nothing like a traditional seppuku to get the blood pumping. It wasn’t very successful though, the body kept trying to regenerate.]**

Wade laughed harshly. Oh, he could give White what it wanted. Modified method from attempt number #12 it was.  Lifting Bea up from the nearby side table, he told Arthur grimly, “Sorry, Arthur. I’m giving the job to Bea this time round.”

Unsheathing Bea with a swift, elegant motion, Wade took a moment to admire its sleek, dangerous lines. “Always a beauty you are, my sweet girl. Ready to be buried in me?” He giggled at the double entendre for a moment before getting up. Kneeling, he assumed the correct position for the ritual suicide that he had planned, placing the handgun that he had in his other hand on the grimy floor of his apartment. He’d need it in a moment.

With a smirk and a practised flip of his hand, Wade thrust the point of his beloved katana right into the side of his muscled abs, just below his ribs. The sound of blade piercing flesh was a familiar one to Wade. How many times had one of his knives gone through someone else, or someone’s knife entered him? It hurt like a son-of-a-bitch, but wasn’t that the very point of this exercise?

(I thought the point was for you to kill yourself.)

**[Oh look. He’s still alive.]**

_I’m getting there, so just shut it, alright?_ Slowly, surely, inch by bloody inch, Wade dragged the katana horizontally across his stomach, ripping it apart. Blood, entrails and other body fluids spilled out onto the floor, as Wade screamed through the agony of tearing apart his own stomach. The smell was bearable, but only because it was his own viscera. He could feel his healing factor kick in, trying to regenerate his cells, regrow his intestines and all that shit. But a healing factor did not lessen the pain any. And Wade could feel every single inch of steel of his beloved Bea gutting him.

However, if Wade left his body alone long enough, he could and would heal from that. Lesson learnt the hard way during attempt number #12. So when the blade had been dragged far enough across his stomach to fucking eviscerate him, Wade let go, left it stuck in his stomach, and reached for his handgun.

“Wham, bang, thank you ma’am,” Wade told his handgun with a fond giggle and a loving caress, even as blood gushed out from his wound. Then he pressed the handgun to the side of his head and…

A fiery, overwhelming pain for that one, shiny, brief moment and then…

Total absolute darkness and silence descended.

* * *

 

Light. Warm and orangy. Sound. A gentle humming. Consciousness.

When Wade became aware of his surroundings once more, he was in that same apartment room again. The last apartment that he had rented with Vanessa, suffused with a soft, warm orange glow. And there was Ness, reclining in the rocking chair, humming a song, looking as beautiful as the day she had died.

She was smiling at him but her eyes were sad. “I’ve missed you, babe,” Wade told her thickly, even as he pressed his hand up against the thick, transparent divider that separated them. Enjoying the moment, he basked in the blissful silence of being alone in his own head.

“Oh baby, I’ve missed you too,” she stood up and gazed into his eyes gently. “But you’ve someone else now, someone who cares about you.”

“Ness, I...um, I,” Wade was speechless for once in his life. Did it count as cheating if his girlfriend was dead? Even if he met her all the time whenever he died? Did that mean he was cheating on Peter too? Oh gods, Wade was a horrible boyfriend, a two-timer that deserved to suffer in the deepest part of the bottomless pit.

“Relax, Red,” Vanessa laughed after she let him stew in panic for a few seconds. “I know all about Peter and I'm not jealous. In fact, I'm glad you met him. He’s good for you.”

Wade smiled at his (ex?)girlfriend in relief. Ness always got him, was always there for him. She is, was, perfect for him. They matched like a jigsaw puzzle, jagged edge to jagged edge, both world-weary, jaded and cynical of life and the world around them. Both seeking the warmth and comfort of each other’s company, trying to build a better life in a craptastic world. Peter, on the other hand…his Baby Boy was such a pure innocent, such a shiny idealist. Despite being Spider-man, despite what he had seen in his three years as a vigilante crime-fighter on the gritty streets of New York, Peter believed in the good of human nature, in the good of mankind. Peter was that very rare thing – a true hero. Wade turned away in guilty shame. So what was Wade doing? Polluting Peter’s life by his very presence? Eyes downcast, he whispered in a confessional tone, “But I'm not good for him. I hurt him.”

Closing his eyes, Wade whispered, “I always hurt the people who care about me, just like that emo kid Kylo Ren...In fact, Peter would be better off without me.”

Vanessa shook her finger at him threateningly. “Nuh-uh. None of your macho I'm-leaving-you-for-your-sake bullshit. Haven’t you learnt your lesson by now? Why don’t you let him decide for himself? Talk to him, baby.”

Wade had to smile at that. Fiery, bossy and wise, that was his Ness. “Aye, aye, Captain.”

Vanessa’s eyes softened as she pressed one hand to the invisible divider between them. “Wade, I love you. But this is the last time I'm appearing before you, before it’s truly your time.”

“What?! No, Ness, don’t go please, you can’t go sailing off into the sunset like Will Turner!” Wade started babbling, as was his wont when stressed. “Please, Ness, tell me what I did wrong, I'll change. I'll be Anakin Skywalker, I'd turn to the Dark Side, I'll do anything!” He had lost Ness once, due to his colossal fuck-up. He couldn't lose her a second time too.

“You started out from the Dark Side, baby. This is your redemption arc.” Laughing, Vanessa silenced Wade's continuing protests and arguments with an abrupt gesture. “You know you never could change my mind once I’ve made my decision, Wade. Listen to me on this, baby. Please.”

And those were tears in Wade’s eyes, Vanessa was certain of it. But he nodded and bowed his head. Save for that one time that he had walked away from her, Wade had always given in to her whenever they had a disagreement.

“It won’t be fair to the three of us otherwise. You know that. Peter deserves more than to live in my shadow. I'll always be here, baby, but you have to go live your life now,” she said as she pressed her whole body to the barrier and he did the same. It was almost a hug. Almost. Softly, Vanessa blew Wade a kiss. “Go now, Wade. When it’s your time, I promise I'll be here for you.”

“I love you, Ness,” Wade's eyes reflected his heart-break but Vanessa steeled herself to let go.

“I know,” she said softly, staring into his wet, very blue eyes as he slowly faded from view.

* * *

 

Vanessa watched Wade go with a deep, bittersweet ache in her heart. She had to let him go, she told herself firmly. Despite her possessiveness that made her want to sink her fingers into his scarred head forever and not let go – she was not a saint. She was but a woman, a woman in love with another man.

But she had told Wade the truth. Peter _was_ good for him. Those first few months after her death, even after Wade had saved that boy, Russell, he had killed himself once, sometimes twice, a day, just so that he could come here and see her. It wasn’t healthy to live in two worlds at once, to try to continue a relationship with the deceased – and that was just what Wade had tried to do. He even tried to call it a long distance relationship, but Vanessa had seen the toll that it was taking on his psyche. Even his damaged sanity could not deal with the frequent brushes with this place. And so, Vanessa was glad on Wade’s behalf when first Spiderman, then Peter Parker had come into his life. Then when the two men had started dating three months ago…well, Vanessa hadn’t exactly been ecstatic, but considering that this was the first time that Wade had visited her in over three months…even if he did not know it, he was slowly getting over her.

It was time to let go, Vanessa told herself once more as she smiled sorrowfully at a picture of her boyfriend. “For your sake, Wade. It’s for your own good.”

_And isn’t irony a bitch._


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter appears in the flesh. But he's not happy.

Wade’s mind swam back to consciousness slowly. The low-key but constant pain that he always felt in the waking world buzzed through his awareness, much like an itch that he couldn’t scratch. It was not a Bad Skin Day though, so he was perfectly capable of ignoring it. Instead, it was merely a sign letting him know that he was no longer in another realm. Unlike in the realm of the dead, he would not simply let his guard down in the real world. When one was in his line of business, one could never be _too_ careful. He still remembered that time some enemy had stood guard over his body and killed him over and over again before he managed to escape.

Once Wade was satisfied that he was in the world of the living, he kept his eyes shut and started trying to recall what had happened before his death. He remained still, cataloguing the sensations in his body for a few moments. Whatever was beneath him felt soft and comfortable. The boxes were quiet and did not scream of danger, so Wade opened his eyes cautiously, blinking blearily a few times.

Ah. Wade was still in his apartment, but he had been shifted from the spot on the floor on which he had first gutted himself then blown his brains out, to the nearby couch. And the reason was apparent enough, as Wade’s eyes fell on the teenager currently perched on the coffee table right next to the couch, who was staring at Wade in a way that caused Wade’s stomach to do nervous back-flips.

Clearing his throat, which was hoarse from minutes, maybe hours of disuse, Wade said meekly, “Hey, Baby Boy. How’s Aunt May?”

(Way to go with the nonchalance, Big Boy. Way to impress Petey.)

  **[If I had eyes, I’d be rolling them so hard right now that they’d have pop out of their sockets.]**

Peter’s eyes flashed as he folded his arms across his chest. Pointing a finger at Wade, he spat, “We can have a conversation about that stunt you pulled at Aunt May’s another day. Right now…” and the glare he gave Wade would have sent a lesser man cowering, “Let’s talk about what you did just now.”

(Ooooh. You’re in for it now, Big Boy.)

**[How would Petey rip you apart, I wonder? Maybe he’s the type of spider who likes to eat humans, especially the irritating and annoying Merc with a Mouth who caused him so much trouble with his family.]**

Even as Wade swung himself into a sitting position, he laughed nervously at that. “Uh, um, no need for that actually. Please, ignore the blood stains and everything. No harm, no foul, right? You’re probably tired and angry, and you have every right to be. Go ahead and rip me a new one about the disaster at dinner, I’m a big boy, I can take it - ”

“Quiet,” Peter said softly, but with an underlying note of command in his voice. Wade swallowed but immediately shut his mouth. Somehow, an angry Peter scared him more than an angry Bruce Banners even though the latter could unleash the Hulk.

“How could you, Wade? When couples fight, we argue, make up and get over it. But you...you...” Peter’s lips were pressed so tightly against each other that they were white and thin.

It was like a shaft of ice had pierced Wade's heart. He’d rather talk about his fuck-up at dinner than his fuck-up of a suicide attempt. He didn’t think, no, of course he didn’t, he had been busy wallowing in his own misery that he had not stopped to think of what committing suicide in a manner like that would do to Peter. Even though both he and Peter knew that the suicide would not be permanent. Because his Baby Boy was just heroic and moral that way.

(You’re a fucking shithead, is what you are.)

**[You always hurt the people you love. That’s probably your theme song.]**

For the first time since he became Deadpool, Wade felt something akin to guilt for taking his own life. However temporary his death might have been.

“I'm sorry, Petey,” Wade told his boyfriend earnestly. “I didn’t mean to make you sad. Or angry. I wasn’t thinking...”

“Damn right you weren’t,” Peter hissed as he placed agitatedly up and down the floor. “Do you have any idea how I felt when I walked into your apartment and saw you...dead, with your guts spilling out all over the floor and a bullet in your brain?”

Shame coursed through Wade as he took in Peter's accusations. It was true, he had not stopped to consider the impact of his actions on his boyfriend. No wonder Peter was spitting mad.

(No surprise there really. We acted like that towards Nessa too.)

**[You’d think he’d learnt his lesson by now.]**

_Hey,_ Wade shouted at the boxes angrily. _Who was the one who told me to kill myself, huh? Now shut up while I try to resolve this!_

(Are you seriously going to try to play the blame game? We’re you, doofus.)

**[And we’re not good for anyone. That’s why we decided to stay away from Petey, remember?]**

(The big boy doesn’t look like he’s gonna do that.)

“Sorry. I’m really sorry, Petey, that was shitty of me,” Wade whispered even as he ignored the boxes in his head with the ease of long practice. Eyes downcast, he voiced the question that had been on his mind since even before his suicide. “Are you breaking up with me? I know I deserve it, just…just give it to me straight.”

* * *

 

If Wade had looked up at that very moment, he would have seen sadness flashed across Peter’s face.

Peter Parker had had a very long day. First, the meet-the-family dinner with his Aunt May had been disastrous. Then, his temper had gotten the better of him and he had argued with Wade about his boyfriend’s performance during that dinner. Wade has used his usual joking banter and seemingly insincere attitude to hide his true feelings, and Peter had just been so fed up about his insouciance. After that, once Peter had calmed Aunt May down and all but begged her to give Wade another chance, he had gone to buy dinner for Wade, knowing that the latter would still be hungry since dinner had been interrupted. He had gone over to Wade’s with the intention of making up and hashing things out, but what he had opened his boyfriend’s apartment door to was a scene out of a horror movie.

After moving all the parts and pieces of his dead boyfriend to the couch, Peter had stared helplessly at the mess and felt a bone-deep weariness, born of guilt, anger, sorrow and frustration. Peter hated killing and although he was trying to come to terms with Wade’s job (and Wade had assured him that he took only the jobs that went after the scum of the world), it was another matter altogether to find out that Wade had killed himself. Although Peter was well-aware of Wade’s regenerative powers, he did not think that he could deal with a boyfriend who killed himself every time they fought. He wouldn’t be able to live with the emotional backlash. And so, Peter had entertained thoughts of ending things.

But now, staring down at Wade’s desolate, dejected form that had managed to curl into a small ball of misery despite his height and mass, Peter could not find it in himself to say the words to break up with Wade. He knew that he needed some time to think, to make a decision about their relationship when he was not tired and emotionally exhausted.

“No, Wade, I’m not breaking up with you right now. But we’re going to talk about everything,” Peter said tiredly, as all the anger seemingly drained out of him. Wade did not move from his current position, but gave a small nod.

“Look, it’s late and you need to recuperate. No more suicides. Come find me when you’re ready,” Peter told Wade stiffly, avoiding Wade’s eyes. Then, with heavy footsteps, he let himself out of the apartment.

* * *

 

Wade watched Peter go dejectedly, unable to find it in himself to stop his boyfriend from leaving. Words failed him at the moment, which was a once-in-a-million event for the Merc with a Mouth, and usually did not herald anything good. If Peter had not ordered him not to commit suicide, Wade would have had a gun in his mouth as soon as Peter had left, if only to stop himself from thinking about all of his fuck-ups.

(So…what does this mean? Was it a stay of execution?)

**[And what did Petey mean by ‘when you’re ready’? Ready to do what?]**

(Ready to deliver a proper apology for one. That was pathetic.)

Wade laughed hollowly. Well, Yellow was right. No matter what happened from here onwards, Wade had to apologise properly. He was not used to having someone care about him, and had fallen back into old habits. If Ness had still been alive and he had committed suicide oh her…well, Wade had no doubts that Ness would kill him all over again once he had revived.

The smell of food penetrated Wade’s stupor. Puzzled, it took Wade but a moment to find its origin – a bag of tacos lying by the doorway. Undoubtedly, Peter had brought it with him…and probably dropped it in shock when he saw what had happened to Wade.

(Awww, Petey brought us dinner.)

**[That’s so sweet of him, he must have realised we were still hungry after leaving Aunt May’s!]**

_I don’t deserve him,_ Wade told the boxes flatly, even as he gobbled down the tacos with a contented sigh. The fact that even after their argument, Peter still thought of him, still brought him food warmed Wade from head to toes.

(Hush, that was never in question. The question is, what does Petey want? Whatever Petey wants, Petey gets. Ness said as much, remember?)

**[Hear, hear!]**

(He said he wanted to talk, didn’t he? And he probably wants an apology too.)

**[So you’re going to go over to his house tomorrow, and deliver the best apology ever.]**

(If he still wants us after that, we’ll stay. But if he doesn’t want us, we’ll leave. No stalking, no lingering around, no more accidental meet-ups in the city, capiche?)

**[Agreed.]**

And for once, Wade agreed with his boxes without a single word of argument.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One or two more chapters to go, I think. Thanks for all the kudos, subscriptions, bookmarks etc.!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wade apologises.

When Peter opened the door, he was surprised to see Wade dressed in a hoodie and sweatpants, instead of his Deadpool suit. Wade rarely wore civilian clothing anywhere, so he must have dressed to cater to Peter’s preference. In Wade’s right hand was a large plastic bag and a duffle bag and in his left, a bouquet of flowers. Red spiderlilies, to be exact.

“Here, uh, these are for you,” Wade thrust the flowers into Peter’s arms awkwardly, shifting his weight from foot to foot. Part of Peter was amused, but the other part was touched by the effort that Wade had clearly put in.

“Apology flowers Wade? You shouldn’t have,” Peter snarked as he allowed Wade to enter. He stuffed the flowers into an empty vase that had been a house-warming present from MJ when he had moved into this apartment. “But I do like it,” he added softly, turning to Wade once more.

Wade had put down his large plastic bag on the kitchen counter. Clearly, it held food of some sort. The duffle bag went onto the floor, and Peter took a moment to wonder what it might contain before dismissing it. It was probably weapons of some kind, knowing Wade. However, the man was now fidgeting agitatedly, as if he did not know what to do with himself. Taking pity on him, Peter stepped into the kitchen and pointed at a chair. “Sit.”

Wade obeyed with alacrity, but still did not say a word. Peter sat in a chair, opposite Wade, frowned and tiled his head slightly. “It’s not like you to be so quiet.”

Shrugging Wade ran a hand over his bald, scarred head. “You wanted to talk, Petey. We agreed to keep quiet and let you talk, because both you and I know that once I start talking, I have no off-switch, and…”

“Okay,” Peter interrupted with one hand held out. And dammit, he should not find that nervous babbling cute, but inside, his traitorous heart was all but gushing over Wade’s adorableness. “Let’s talk.” He fixed Wade with a stern, no-nonsense look.

Wade nodded obediently, mimed zipping his mouth shut and throwing the key away, and Peter’s lips twitched involuntarily at that. But he was not about to let Wade off the hook that easily. “First, about your suicide. Even if you can regenerate, I can’t take it when you kill yourself. Especially not if it was because of me,” Peter told Wade bluntly, with clenched teeth. “I can’t, I can’t…I just can’t take anyone’s death being my fault again…”

Flashes of memory invaded Peter’s mind, images of Uncle Ben, of Gwen, of Harry…the feeling of helplessness, of powerlessness, of being out-of-control, because there was _nothing_ that he could do to change the fact that they were dead. Dead, because of him. He didn’t want to fail anyone like that ever again. Wade’s suicide had hit a little too close to home. Breathing quickly, Peter could feel tears building in his eyes, as bad memories assaulted him once more.

“Whoa, whoa, hold your horses, Baby Boy,” Wade cried out from his new position crouched down right beside Peter’s seat. He must have had moved while Peter had been absorbed in his own mind, and was currently rubbing soothing circles on Peter’s thigh while he peered up at Peter earnestly. “Let’s get one thing straight; it was not your fault, Petey-pie. I went and offed myself because I was a coward and couldn’t deal with reality, not because of anything you did, alright?”

With an effort, Peter wrenched himself from the deluge of memories. Angrily, he rubbed at his eyes. He had shut his door on his past long ago, had made his peace with it. Today was not about the past, but about the future that he hoped to build with Wade. Sniffing one final time, Peter told Wade with watery eyes, “But it felt like it was my fault. And I don’t ever want to feel that way again, about someone who’s _mine_. I can’t and I won’t put myself through that again, so promise me. Promise me, Wade.”

“Am I yours, Baby Boy?” Wade’s breath hitched and his eyes held a soft wonder as he stared at Peter in disbelief.

Peter blushed, embarrassed to be caught out in his possessive declaration. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to – ”

“No, no, no. No takebacksies, Petey-pie. I heard that, and, and,” Wade looked up at Peter shyly before continuing in a whisper, “I’d love to be yours, Baby Boy.”

Peter’s heart swelled at that. He had been afraid that his boyfriend would think that he was too possessive, or clingy, or guilty of objectifying him, but no, Wade _understood_.

“And I promise I won’t off myself again, Baby Boy. I shouldn’t have done that in the first place; I was rash and impulsive and I’m really, really sorry,” Wade told Peter firmly, sincerely, before he lifted up one of Peter’s hand and pressed a gentle kiss over his knuckles. “Please, please, please forgive me?”

“Apology accepted. And I’ll hold you to that promise, Wade,” Peter sighed softly, even as he cracked a weak smile. Wade’s answering smile was soft and hesitant but genuine. And although Peter was still mad at Wade over the whole suicide thing, he told himself to put it aside since he had thought long and hard and concluded that he did not want to break up with his boyfriend over this. He would get over it, as he always did, and they would be back to normal in no time.

Looking down at his boyfriend, Peter stood up and pulled the former to his feet easily. Staring up at into Wade’s blue eyes, Peter said, “The second thing we have to talk about is Aunt May.”

At those words, guilt crept into Wade’s eyes once more. “I’m sorry about that too. I talk crap all the time and I have no brain-to-mouth filter when I’m nervous and sometimes I can’t control what comes outta my mouth at those times, you know? It’s like I spew out Yellow’s or White’s thoughts accidentally. _Shut up White, your input is not welcome right now._ And sometimes those things tend to be inappropriate. Verbal vomit, gag-inducing levels of inappropriate. But I don’t mean to, I swear, Petey-pie, I liked Aunt May and I wanted Aunt May to like me too…”

Peter watched Wade patiently, waiting for his boyfriend to stop. He knew about the voices in Wade’s head, knew about the influence that they had over his boyfriend and knew how difficult it was for Wade sometimes. He too, knew what it was like to babble when nervous. Honestly, he knew he should not have lost his temper with Wade that night, for Wade had tried his best.

‘What I’m saying, Baby Boy, is that I didn’t mean to out myself as a killer-for-hire in front of Aunt May, alright? I’m sorry,” Wade finished by ducking his head almost shyly.

Sighing, Peter grabbed Wade’s head to ensure that Wade was looking at him. “It’s okay, Wade. I spoke to Aunt May. While she’s not a fan of your job, she loves me too much. She has agreed to give you another chance at dinner next week, as long as you keep quiet about your job in her house. I want her to get to know the other parts of you first, not the mercenary. I don’t think she can deal with that yet.”

“Yes! Another chance! Alright, I promise I’ll wow her with my patented charms this time,” Wade swore with an infectious grin. “Pinky promise! Which means I’ll let you cut off my pinky if I break my promise!”

Peter laughed and pressed a quick kiss to Wade’s lips. “See that you do, Mr. Pool. Ixnay on the cutting of pinkies though,” he added, almost as an afterthought. Wade didn’t have the best track records on these things and Peter knew he had to set Wade right straightaway or he might come home one of these days to a pinky laying on his bedside table.

Wade squealed with delight and hugged Peter tightly, tilting up Peter’s chin for a deep and languid kiss. Slow, tender and full of affection, just the right thing with which to reassure Peter that Wade was serious about his promises this time.

Right here, right now, all thoughts of breaking up with Wade had fled from Peter’s mind. They would be alright, he thought distantly, as he melted into the kiss. They would work as a couple, Peter was sure of it.

After all, Wade was his and Peter took care of his own. _Mine._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here is the last chapter, in a manner of speaking. Only an epilogue left, ha.
> 
> Which will contain spanking. If that is not your cup of tea, this is a good place to stop:) And yes, I'll increase the rating to M when I post the last chapter.


	4. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Wade volunteers for a spanking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The author is inexperienced and writes only from her overactive imagination. Please take it with a pinch of salt.

 

“I'm sorry I made you mad, Baby Boy. I was bad. You should punish me,” Wade told Peter as he nuzzled against Peter’s neck and breathed in Peter’s scent. He felt Peter’s body stiffened in surprise as the latter tilted his head to squint at Wade in suspicion. “Wha- is this an euphemism for sex, Wade?”

Wade laughed briefly and squeezed Peter’s ass once for good measure before stepping back. “Nah, although I don’t blame you for thinking that. My mind’s in the gutter all the time, ain’t it?”

As Peter whirled around to face him, Wade shrugged and said, “I'm just saying, Petey-pie...you’re still angry with me, I know. And I don’t blame you, ‘cause I was a dick. Maybe it’ll run its course in a few days, but why wait? I'm here, I'm available, it'll be better if you let it all out on me. And you won’t even hurt me much, because healing factor, see?”

Reaching into the duffle bag by his feet, Wade withdrew a smooth and hard-looking wooden paddle, liberally punctured with holes, and presented it to Peter. “Go to town on my ass, Baby Boy.” He cocked his head sideways and added, “Or any other part of my body, really. If you prefer.”

Peter narrowed his eyes as he considered his boyfriend's proposal. Then with a tilt of his head, he asked frankly, “Do you really want this, Wade? If this is just a sex game to you...”

Wade met Peter’s hazel brown eyes with his electric blue ones. Offering the paddle again, he said, “I mean it. Sir.”

That’s when Peter knew he was being serious. Taking the paddle from Wade, he felt that Wade had a point. Instead of giving his boyfriend the cold shoulder for the next few days, which Wade seemed to find an ordeal whenever they argued, Peter could get it out of his system once and for all. Although, honestly, he had no idea how this was supposed to work.

Wade must have sensed something about Peter’s hesitation, for he turned, bent over the nearest surface, which happened to be the heavy wooden table, and wriggled his butt at Peter. “Have at it, Petey-pie.”

Peter snorted at that. Wade was always like this, Peter had realised. Wielding his jokes and humour as both a weapon and a shield, to deflect attention away from the issue at hand. Well, Peter wasn’t letting that happen this time. Wade wanted to be punished? He would feel intimately every stroke of Peter’s anger.

“Didn’t you know, Wade? Spankings are always delivered on the naughty boy’s bare butt,” Peter informed his boyfriend sweetly as he laid a hand over Wade’s waistband. Then he stopped, asking permission silently. Even if they had agreed to this, Peter would always give Wade an out, if he wanted it. He knew Wade still had hung-ups about his looks, despite all of Peter’s heartfelt reassurances. He felt Wade’s muscles tense inestimably, then relaxed after a few seconds.

“Promises, promises,” Wade quipped even as he mentally screamed at himself to relax. He had meant it when he had offered Peter the paddle. He wasn’t sure if his Baby Boy understood, but Wade had effectively given Peter free rein to dole out whatever punishment his Petey-pie felt Wade deserved.

(Our Baby Boy's too nice for that, really. Whatever he gives you wouldn't even be a fraction of what you deserve.)

**[Yeah. If Francis weren’t dead, you’d deserve a few more weeks under his tender, loving care.]**

The boxes agreed with Wade. And really, what was a little nudity between lovers? It wasn’t like Peter hadn’t seen any of it before.

Wade heard Peter say grumpily, “I don’t want to hear another word out of you that isn’t your safe word.”

“Yes, sir,” Wade suppressed a nervous giggle. The atmosphere was getting _intense_. At the same time, he was touched that he was still allowed a safe word, given that this was _punishment_. His Baby Boy was simply too kind!

When Peter reached down to pull the sweatpants down to Wade’s knees, Wade flinched minutely. He forced himself to remain still, even as a gentle breeze brushed against the sensitive skin of his bare ass.

Wade heard the sound of the paddle swishing through the air before the first blow and immediately knew that his lover was completely inexperienced at this, not that he hadn’t know it before this. It was just that that inexperience was abruptly brought to the forefront of his mind…That was going land painfully on the tender crease between his ass and his thighs. No one started out with a blow like that. If Wade didn’t knew better, he’d have thought that Peter was spitting mad and looking for some revenge of his own. The thing was, despite knowing what was coming, Wade was going to have to stay still for this and...

Wade’s thoughts were interrupted by a loud thwack, followed by a red, fiery pain shooting outwards from the bottom of his ass. And yes, his prediction was correct, as always, both in regards to the location that the stroke had landed and the force that his Petey-pie had apparently thrown into it. Wade grunted slightly, nipping in the bud all other reactions from his body. As his healing factor kicked in, the pain slowly faded.

(THAT HURT.)

**[Yeah, and not in the fun, kinky and sexy way or the violent, bloody and gory way.]**

(Petey's mad at us. I don’t like it.)

**[Told you it was a bad idea. Not going to stick around for it, anyhow. You’re on your own, Big Boy.]**

With that, both Yellow and White checked out, leaving Wade alone in his own mind, to suffer through the pain on his very own. There was no question of Wade enjoying it either – it was punishment because Peter was angry at him and Wade never liked it when his Baby Boy was mad at him.

The second blow came as a shock to his system, because Wade had dissociated from his body as his boxes had argued. Thankfully, he managed to control his body and his mouth, limiting his reaction to merely a soft exhale.

The smack had landed on the meatiest part of his ass-cheeks and was significantly less painful than the first, although it still resulted in a sharp jolt of pain that was muted the next moment.

Warmth flooded Wade as he realised that Peter had put less strength into the blow, probably out of worry about how well he was taking it. Regardless of how frequently Wade reminded Peter about his own awesome healing factor, Peter still cared about how much harm Wade came to; his Baby Boy was the first and only person to do that since Vanessa. Cable was concerned only about his own pleasure and Logan thought nothing of putting a claw through Wade whenever he felt that Wade was being an annoying little shit.

And the renewed awareness that his Petey-pie cared for him, well, just that knowledge alone was enough to turn Wade on. By the time the third blow fell, Wade was trying his hardest to suppress a moan as desire shot through him. This was his Baby Boy _spanking_ him. Even though it was not the sexy type of spanking, but rather, the punishment type of spanking…And although Peter was angry at him, he still _cared_ about Wade. As a result, any touch, any kind of attention at all, so long as it was from his Petey-pie…they all became highly positive and desirable to Wade.

In fact, even though Wade couldn’t see his cock, he knew that it was no longer docile – it had risen to half mask, he was certain of it. And with every blow of the paddle, Wade’s body was driven forward into the wooden table and the position that his cock was in – totally took the word _edging_ to a whole other level. The rough corner of the table cut straight into his erection, and the sharp pain and friction right at his cock was in equal parts both painful and pleasurable.

_Down, boy, down!_ Wade thought desperately at his member as the sixth blow landed. Despite Wade’s best intentions, he was now fully erect, and probably dripping, leaving cum-stains all over the surface of the wooden table. _Petey-pie doesn’t like this, he warned us not to turn it into a sex thing! Help! Whitey, Yellow, come out and tell me what I should do, dammit!_

The boxes remained silent. Wade cursed up a blue streak in his head even as he bit his lips bloody to keep himself quiet. He wasn’t wholly successfully though. A breathy moan escaped his lips as the next stroke fell and for the one after that, Wade all but whined…after which he tensed up his body.

_Fuck, fuck, fuckit! That was so obvious, Baby Boy’s gonna be suspicious._ He had to find a way to resolve this and the quickest way was to just...

“Avocado!” Wade shouted immediately once the thought had popped into his mind, just after the tenth blow. Immediately, Wade heard Peter put the paddle down before taking a step forward. Putting out a hand, Wade got up and tried to explain, “Uhhhh, just hang on a moment Petey-pie, I’m alright I promise, just gotta take care of a _little_ problem, or well, not so little, but still a problem, and I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to, I know you told me not to, please forgive me…”

As Wade spoke, his hands were busy. He spared a glance at Peter’s surprised and puzzled expression, before swiftly taking his own erection into his large hands and his strong, steady grip. Before Peter could narrow his eyes at Wade, Wade was already twisting his cockhead harshly with his left hand and clamping down on the base of his cock tightly with his right. Wade had once strangled to death a man with only his right hand, so his full strength was nothing to frown at, even in a world filled with mutants and superheroes. The resultant agony that shot through his tender cock at his double-handed assault was white-hot and not at all pleasurable. But it was effective, leaving his cock limp within seconds.

“What are you doin – ” Peter exclaimed in a strangled voice, as he sprang forward with hands outstretched.

“Eh, getting rid of the pesky erection. Sorry Baby Boy, I know you said not to turn it into a sex thing, but my body, well, it wasn’t obeying me. I took care of it though, and we can continue now. Promise it won’t happen again, cross my heart!” Wade chirped and made cooing sounds at his lover. He would have sliced off his own dick, to help himself keep that promise. In fact, he had considered doing it just now, but somehow felt that his Petey-pie might not be pleased with Wade’s blood in his nice and clean kitchen. It was unhygienic and would probably be a mess to clean up later, neither of which his Baby Boy deserved.

Speaking of which…Wade squinted. His Baby Boy had a look on his face that was part disbelief, part frustration and part…something else. Uh-oh, was his Baby Boy mad again? Wade started making cute puppy eyes at his lover. “Please forgive me, Petey, I really, really didn’t mean to turn this into a sex thing! I’m very, very sorry!” Wade all but begged. “Please, please, pretty please?”

* * *

 

“Wade…” Peter sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

Peter was touched. Okay he was shocked, frustrated, exasperated, and slightly angry, but still…mostly touched. Wade had all but strangled his own erection away, and was now begging for forgiveness simply because he had achieved an erection after Peter had made an off-hand comment about not turning this punishment spanking into something sexual. He could have laughed it off, or pretended that it did not happen, and Peter would have accepted it, would have understood, because Wade had always been an extremely sexual being, but this was…this was…a whole new level.

And well, it was so _Wade_ , really, and Peter was once more reminded of why he had fallen in love with Wade. Wade was crude, violent and killed people for a living, but he was also funny, sweet, loyal _and absolutely devoted to Peter_. And God help him, for Peter Parker found it _hot_. And _attractive_.

As Peter thought that, he felt his anger and all the other negative emotions all but melt away, leaving him with but a tender softness and fondness towards his boyfriend. Reaching out, he pulled his man into a tight hug and whispered into his ears, “It’s alright. I’m not mad. I’m not angry any more, Wade, you did good.” As Peter felt Wade’s tension leave his body and relax into his embrace, he murmured praises into Wade’s ear, knowing that Wade liked being praised right after something like that. “You were a good boy and absolutely perfect for me, Wade.”

* * *

 

As Wade melted into the comforting warmth of Peter’s lean, wiry and deceptively strong arms, he sighed happily into the crook of his lover’s neck. Even though the punishment spanking had been hard to take initially, and practically wrestling his own cock into submission hadn’t been fun, the fact that it had culminated in this moment was…

_Worth it._

More than worth it in fact.

At least, that was what Wade thought until Peter’s thoughtful voice penetrated his ears once more, almost ten minutes later. “Say, Wade. Now that you’ve met Aunt May, how about an official meeting with Mr. Stark? He’s like a father to me, practically…”

Distantly, Wade was aware that the boxes were back on line once more and loudly snickering in his head.

_Just kill me now! Take me with you, Ness,_ he wailed despairingly. _In order to date Petey-pie, I have to seek Tin Can’s blessings too?!!!!!!!!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter of this fic, hope you all enjoyed it! 
> 
> I'd be adding stories to this series as and when the muse strikes me, so if you like my version of Spideypool, do keep a look-out for it:)


End file.
